I would love to have lesbian friends so I started to look for places where lesbians hang out. A simple Google search failed to answer my question, apparently, there is no such place in my location. I turned to almighty app stores but there are no apps for lesbians only. Lesbians are always a subcategory, never in a spotlight. I continued to dig and I stumbled upon one very recent research made by a lesbian.
She did simple, yet effective research with the most popular dating apps. She did 100 swipes on Tinder in order to see how many actual lesbians the app will offer to her.
Here is her very interesting research.
I decided to sit down and swipe 100 times, tallying up the most frequent profiles that came up for me on Tinder's "women seeking women" setting:
Nonbinary (Female): 18
Nonbinary (Male): 5
Transwomen (Male): 24
Women in open relationships with men ("My bf is cool with it"): 6
Regular dude: 2
So that's 70 out of the 100 swipes wasted on profiles that most lesbians would have no interest in (some of the nonbinary-identified female people were attracted to me, but I've tried dating them in the past and as a feminist, it just doesn't work. Maybe some lesbians will be okay with it, like I used to be.) 46 of the swipes were profiles with a male person. Let that sink in- nearly half of my matches on "lesbian" Tinder were male people/heterosexual couples. And if you include the girls whose boyfriends are "cool with it," that ups the count to 52. More than half my swipes on "lesbian" Tinder had males involved.
So out of the 30 actual women, 9 of them were bisexual with a profile explicitly mentioning men (e.g. "Be at least 6' tall" and "Torn between finding the love of my life and fucking big, pretty dicks"). 10 of them self-identified as "queer" (e.g. "gender alien, faggy woman").
So that left me with 11 out of 100 profiles that were viable dating options. And of those 11, there were only 2 women I was attracted to. And by then I was so frustrated with the lack of options that I just gave up on the Tinder session.
Are you mind-blown as I am right now? 100 swipes, only 2 viable dating options. If that is not a clear indicator for red alert, I don't know what is. We need a place just for us. I started to chat with many lesbians recently and discovered they struggle to meet others as well, no matter where they live.
This is why I decided to do something. I decided to make an app solely for lesbians. I did a prototype. Even made a pitch deck. I tried to get money from a VC but I quickly realized speaking with straight males, who are dominating the industry, will get me nowhere. After numerous conversations I realized nobody will help a lesbian so I stopped knocking on doors and decided to do everything by myself. I did some surveys, mapped functionality for v1, did design and started coding a social network for lesbians. After many months, I had very little progress. Future of this app is still uncertain, but it's likely nothing will happen because the scope of the project is just too big and too hard for a single person to carry it out.
In the meantime, I started this co-blog. Maybe a publication for lesbians will make a difference.
It is very upsetting to observe how your community slides into the void and there is nothing you can do. We should stick together! We should support each other.
That said, please join LezHQ Discord server where you can unwind, meet new lesbians and have a little fun. It's private, every user will be verified. I would be thrilled if it grows to be a safe and fun place for thousands of lesbians.